Is #BDSM Sex for #Intelligent People?

Painting of S/M sexuality

Painting of S/M sexuality (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s a bold question, isn’t it?

Why should BDSM be sex for the more intelligent? I’m not talking Einstein here, or even Bill Gates, but let’s say at least one of the participants often has an IQ of more than the national average.

Why so? Well, BDSM is a lifestyle (or at the very least a set of bedroom antics) that has very strict rules and these need to be researched. When you’ve covered the rules, you need to do the groundwork on the tools of the trade and a Dom/Domme’s toy closet can often be exhaustive and produce many a complicated device. Even the simplest implements ie. the flogger or riding crop, require a practised hand to be able to wield them correctly. Then there’s the tying of knots and the rigging of suspension devices. That’s not all. When you know how to play, you have to judge sexual responses… how close is your sub to orgasm, how far can you take him/her to the peak of arousal without actually letting them fall over the precipe… in order to repeat the process several times to enable him/her to have a mind-shattering climax.

When you’ve managed to get all that straight, you can study mind games. These are often the most complicated and require forward planning. It’s hard work maintaining this kind of high-octane sexual relationship and the domination and submission roles often need to be very clearly defined.

Sounds like hard work, doesn’t it? I think most in the lifestyle would agree wholeheartedly that the hard work is amply rewarded. Vanilla sex pales in comparison to its fruitier, kinkier neighbour.

So, what’s your take on the matter?

18 thoughts on “Is #BDSM Sex for #Intelligent People?

  1. ~grin~ My theory has been disproved. I’ll have to find another. I suspect it’s a genetic thing rather than anything to do with intelligence… but it was a fun question 🙂

  2. Maybe it is for more complex people, or more confused people (like me). Not sure if we are more intelligent. Maybe more sensitive, and maybe more intellectually vain….in a strange way.

      • Thanks …. it is tricky terrrain. We do ego and esteem work in a way. I mean if someone is spitting on me, or beating me, that is at first sight not a sign of my vanity. But the whole thing is theatrical in some ways….

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  4. I won’t say “intelligent” people, but I would definitely say successful BDSM is for the thinkers. I say successful, because as Cara pointed out earlier, many leap in without doing the necessary research.

    • Good point, well made. I love all the ‘prep’ that goes into a good scene and you’re right, of course. It’s the thinking that goes on behind each party and their respective roles which makes the end result pretty damn miraculous.

  5. I’ve seen people without a higher education and really not smart enough to get one who can rig like a pro, Florentine with the best of them, and bring a girl to orgasm without touching them.
    Like anything, I think it is because they enjoy it to their core – it is a part of them. The desire to know whatever it is that turns them on and turns their submissive into a puddle of goo – by their hand. The ultimate in control.
    Intelligence has a factor, I am sure. I couldnt submit to someone who didnt challenge me mentally as well as physically and emotionally. Because I have someone stronger in all three areas, I can let go when he takes over 😉

    • I agree, wholeheartedly. I think that BDSM is quite possibly part of your internal ‘make-up’ and intelligence has little do with it. I’m also in agreement with your comment, ‘I couldnt submit to someone who didnt challenge me mentally as well as physically and emotionally.’ It’s the challenges that make or break a good relationship. It’s all about finding a good fit 🙂

  6. I’m not sure I see the correlation between intelligence and doing. Hard work, study, and experience are not necessarily synonymous with intelligence. From my experience, I do wish I would run into more intelligent people within the lifestyle. Why? Because I could never partner with someone who could not outthink me in and OUT of play.

    • You’ve got at least four women in agreement with you here, myself included with regards to a partner. And it’s a fair comment with regards to the intelligence question 🙂

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