#Women’s #Sex Lives Get Better With Age – It’s Official! (ish)



Getting divorced in middle age used to leave  many women feeling they had been denied a love-life for ever.

But today’s ‘silver splitters’ have full and  active sex lives that were denied to previous generations, an expert  says.

Susan Quilliam, who rewrote The Joy Of Sex to  celebrate the book’s 40th anniversary, said women can now sleep with whoever  they want after their marriage breaks down and not be judged.

The psychologist and sexual relationships  expert, who herself has become single at 63 after her 21-year marriage ended,  said women no longer fear experimenting with men in bed.

‘In theory, I can, if I so wish, go out and  sleep with somebody tonight without opprobrium, without being told I’m a slut,’  she told Cambridge University’s Festival of Ideas.

‘Well, there are some people who will still  think I’m a slut, but largely we are lucky. Us women in 2013, we are lucky as no  other women before us.

‘We are lucky post Pill and post the Abortion  Act to be able to know and decide where, what, who, how and also whether and  where to look for sex – and where things are and what to do with  them.’

Miss Quilliam, from Cambridge, married her  former husband Ian Grove-Stephensen, 56, in 1992. They have no  children.

Last year she updated the ground-breaking  self-help sex manual The Joy Of Sex by Alex Comfort, to celebrate 40 years since  it provoked scandal when it was first published in 1972.

Miss Quilliam said: ‘Compared to our mothers’  and grandmothers’ generations we have more choice.

‘More choice to have a relationship or not.  The choice of whether to have a short-term relationship of just a few hours or a  long-term one.

‘We can also choose who we partner with. Our  grandparents’ generation was firmly told they had to partner with someone of  their own class and age.

‘We can choose a partner who is younger or  older, people who do not come from the same background or even the same  continent.

‘When the original book came out in 1972,  women who were over 50 or 60 years old were seen as past it, whereas they are  now seen as attractive. We can have full and active sex lives. I know a lot of  women over 50 with good sex lives.

‘Women have become more powerful in society  and because of this increase in power have been able to set the rules more. Society is more mature and experience in the bedroom is now seen as being just  as compelling as being attractive.

‘Older women now know a lot more about our  bodies and how to please a man.’ Miss Quilliam said that in the past women who  were widowed felt unable to go out and find a new partner, but she said this has  changed.

She said: ‘Women do not have to be afraid.  They can grab their own life by the scruff of the neck and think, “Let’s do  this”. That’s something my mother and grandmother were not able to  do.’

 Susan Quilliam, 63, rewrote The Joy Of Sex to  celebrate its 40th anniversary
The empowerment of women in western society has taken great leaps, both in the bedroom and out of it. If we had a time machine, where we could travel back just 100 years into the past, I think it would be a scary prospect for most females. It really is amazing just how far we’ve come — Christina

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