The Night Before #Christmas #NSFW Over 18’s Only

Sexual games

So – hands up, who got up to some naughtiness this Christmas? Were you the whipper or the whippee? Did you have to be extra quiet so that the rest of the family didn’t hear a thing…?

The Night Before Christmas

Posted to rec.humor by mdwyer@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Michael Dwyer) on 1994-10-01.

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
everyone was getting laid, even the mouse.
With Ma in her whore house and dad in jail,
I had just settled down for a nice piece of tail…

When out on the lawn, there rose such a clatter,
I sprang from my sister-in-law to see what was the matter.
I threw open the shudders and threw out the hash,
tripped over my boner and busted my ass.

And out on the lawn but what should appear
but a rusty ol’ sleigh, and 8 fucking reindeer.
Out of the sleigh jumped a big, fat dick…
and I knew in an instant it must be St. Prick.

“To the top of the roofs, to the top of the walls,
on you bastards before I cut off your balls!”
He came down the chimney like a bat outta Hell,
and I knew for a fact the poor fucker had fell.

He filled the stockings with pretzels and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
Then he rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart,
that son of a bitch, he blew the damn thing apart!

And he cursed and he swore as he rode out of sight,
“Fuck you all, I’ve had one hell of a night!”

Courtesy of www.dirtyxmas.com

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