Setting the #Mood for #Sex #BDSM style

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Setting the mood for sex in the vanilla world often means candles, flowers, soft music, mood lighting and perhaps some pleasant aromatherapy oils to sweetly scent the air. It can mean kissing and cuddling, or simply talking about the days’ events in order to unwind for the evening to come.

In the BDSM world, setting the scene can take on my different forms. Some submissives will have a certain pose that their master expects them to hold when he enters the room. Some will have certain greeting rituals that must be accomplished before the games can begin for instance:

  • A leather belt presented between their teeth
  • A leash offered between outstretched hands
  • A collar and certain garments/toys laid out for display or worn
  • A submissive stance upon all fours, head dipped etc.

Whilst setting the scene in BDSM may involve some aspects similar to that of the ordinary vanilla girl, there will probably be lots more for the Dominant/Domme to think about. Safety and aftercare being two prime examples. If you’re thinking of partaking in a lengthy whipping/spanking scene, you’ll want a water/electrolyte drink on standby. There is nothing worse than a fainting sub! You’ll need to establish a protocol ie. safeword that will let you know when your sub is at his/her limit. The aftercare may include a cuddle, gentle washing and soft chat as the sub begins to recover their wits and senses.

Setting the scene in the land of BDSM doesn’t have to be difficult, though. It can involve a blindfold and little else. It’s also true that there could be a whole host of things involved such as hot wax, a wartenburg pinwheel, a peacock feather, wands, vibrators, plugs, clamps, rope, cuffs, suspension rigs, dungeon furniture etc. The rule of thumb is to always be prepared for just about every eventuality, be it a quick release in the case of emergency or wide open arms in the instance that your sub may have taken a little too much upon him/herself.

There can be an enormous amount of planning which goes into a D/s relationship. Outfits, toys, furniture, handcuff keys, rope and let’s not forget acting skills. Who will visit tonight – the gentle or evil dome/dominant? Will you dress up and role play a scripted scene, perhaps? Will there be other parties involved? Who’s responsible for what, when, where?

Being in a D/s relationship is a lot of fun, but it also presents many challenges. None of them are usually insurmountable and a spot of careful planning usually makes for a great scene. If a scene goes horribly wrong, put it down to practise and learn from it. Next time, the chances are that it will be perfect.

7 thoughts on “Setting the #Mood for #Sex #BDSM style

  1. Setting the mood for a scene is as important as the scene itself.
    Many times I will send Kayla up to the room with instructions to take out cuff and/or collars and what toys that will be used and lay them out on the bed. Then kneel and wait for me.
    Anticipation!

  2. You’re right that not a lot is required to set the scene. The last time I was with SSir, we had zero toys with us…I whispered that I wanted to be used and he made do with whatever we had on hand – that poor little hairbrush never stood a chance. 🙂

  3. Setting the mood is indeed very important. I use a lot of candles, appropriate music depending on the scene I have in mind and in most cases Princess receives a few text messages or a short mail previously with dress instructions and a few hints of what she can expect for the evening. Those hints are sometimes only to set her on the wrong foot 🙂
    Lovely post, Christina.
    Regards,
    Franco

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