Christina’s Top 10 Euphemisms for Masturbation #funny



Well, it’s getting near that time of the year when we do count downs, so I thought… let’s have a go at something different. (OK, OK, I was searching terms for my new book – that’s my excuse, anyways…)

So. Here are my top ten. Hope you have a giggle 😉

10. Going to the Palm Prom

9. Hand to Gland Combat

8. Holding Your Sausage Hostage

7. Making It Snow

6. Making Stomach Pancakes

5. Playing Tug of War With the Cyclops

4. Evicting the Testicular Squatters

3. Blowing Your Own Horn

2. Wax on, Whack Off


Gosh Mr Brand? Really? And you look like such a nice guy. Us ladies would never consider doing a thing like that… ~shock, horror~

Although there are some public bathrooms that could do with a really good… nevermind. Focus, Christina.

And at Number #1

1. Having a date with Pamela Handerson

See? Choking the chicken was nowhere on my list. Are you relieved? ~WEG~

OK, got any more? Well, share ’em then!

Merry Christmasand a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

12 thoughts on “Christina’s Top 10 Euphemisms for Masturbation #funny

  1. Love this!

    Why not make a list for female masturbation as well?
    I almost choked to death when I read the euphemism “dialing the pink telephone” for the first time… Though I suppose rotary telephones are terribly outdated. Still made me laugh. I guess for a more updated phrase, one might say they were “double clicking the mouse”


  2. Pingback: ASMSG Romance Erotica Ezine – Christina’s Top 10 Euphemisms for Masturbation #funny

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