Funniest Search Engine Terms Used to Find Christina Mandara #Funny #Sarcasm

1WordPress is great. If you delve into their stats you can find out all sorts of things and my personal favourite is the search engine terms that people use to find your blog. Here are some of my best. Be prepared for some shockers 😉  — These are all genuine search terms that people have used in the past year:

Women Encased in Concrete BDSM

Umm… not into that one. Apologies. I should think that’s got to be quite dangerous, too, so don’t try that at home guys and girls. If I’m  not mistaken concrete leaches water out of the body and can burn… someone help me on this LOL.

Best Lotion for a Spanked Bottom?

Personally, I’d go with vitamin E cream… but am open to recommendations.

BDSM Chilli Pepper Torture

OK, I don’t mind the odd chilli pepper salve… ganesha spice is good 😉

Why Drill Holes in a Paddle BDSM?

This one’s easy. If you drill holes in the middle of a paddle, there’s less air resistance which makes the paddle swing faster. It’s also a lot easier to swing, so the dominant can give that bottom a jolly good seeing to 😉

How to be a Food Slave, BDSM?

I’m a slave to chocolate and will do practically anything for it… does that count?

Christina Mandara Lead Me Not Into Temptation

You’re on a loser there, mate. If you’ve made it to my blog you’ve got bigger problems to worry about 😉

Used BDSM St Andrews Crosses for Sale

My initial reaction is ewww. I’m not sure I’d want a cross that some other subbie has slathered all over LOL  But if you’re short on cash… you’ll need to find some kinky classifieds somewhere other than here 😉

Spanking Erections Video

Not on here, I’m afraid. Sounds intriguing, though, so if anyone out there has any links for me, I’ll give them an ogle 😀

British Christina Porn

I do not write porn! This is erotic art. It’s the written word at its finest. OK. Fine. I write porn. This made me grin.

Sexy Story Stuck Together With Superglue

I’m not going anywhere near my laptop with superglue and if you meant sticking people together with superglue, you’re in for a lengthy spell at the A&E department, which might be a teensy weensy bit embarrassing. Do not try this at home.

What are froggers? BDSM

Underwater, amphibian-like fetishists? Who the hell knows?  If memory serves correctly this relates to kissing and froggers are ones who like licking and slobbering as averse to swordsmen, who prefer tongue-style duels.

Sexy Photos of Mandara

HAHAHA! You guys are a laugh a minute, seriously. Content yourself with the dirty books. Your backside will be getting a jolly good paddling if you want to see me in latex.

Ponygril Breeding

Sounds painful. If you meant ponygirl breeding, sounds a little bit more fun.

Whisk Up Man’s Rectum

This is not my kink. If it’s yours, be careful. Sounds like another spell in the A&E to me and they take photos. In the form of X-rays, but the contents of your ass will be forever preserved for posterity or posteriority 🙂

‘Seared Her Rump’

This is not a cooking blog. Go find yourself some rump steak and have fun. Mine’s rare.

App for instant sex

There is no such thing. Try a rabbit vibrators, it’s the closest you’re going to get to instant sex at home. Any website app that promises instant sex must involve speeding and considerable sums of money…

Spanking Christina &

Christina in Bondage

Not in this lifetime you perverts

Spanish Torture Donkey BDSM &

Black Belt Martial Arts BDSM

What the hell…

Green Chilli on Clitoris Torture

Ow. Just ow.

herotica poney guirl

You need to lay off the drugs.

Instant Bang Dating Site

Possibly a convention for pyrotechnical enthusiasts… but sounds dangerous.


Ok, hope you enjoyed that. Believe it or not, those were some of the ‘tamer’ ones. I have many more. Hope you had a giggle 😀







7 thoughts on “Funniest Search Engine Terms Used to Find Christina Mandara #Funny #Sarcasm

  1. Pingback: ASMSG Romance Erotica Ezine – Funniest Search Engine Terms Used to Find Christina Mandara #Funny #Sarcasm

  2. This was great – I also use WordPress and I’m consistently amused and slightly baffled at how readers find me… On the up-side, YOU were trending on my search terms this morning “learning the ropes mandara” came right before “hardcore medical short story”… BOTH of which can be found on The Smutsonian… I hope I made some Smutty Googler very happy.

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