What Does Being #Collared Mean? #BDSM

What Does Wearing A Collar Signify in A BDSM relationship?

Wikipedia says this:

Many submissives wear a collar to denote their status and commitment. It can be much like a wedding band, except that only the submissive partner wears one. The traditional collar is a neck band in leather or metal, chosen, designed, and even crafted by the dominant partner. Some subs wear a “symbolic collar”, often a bracelet or ankle chain, which is more subdued than the traditional collar and can pass in non-BDSM situations. It is not uncommon for a sub to have several collars for special occasions.[6] Dog collars are integral for K-9 roleplaying—pup-play.

In a BDSM context, a collar is a device of any material worn by a person around the neck to indicate their submissive or slave status in a BDSM relationship. A person wearing a collar to symbolize their relationship with another is said to be collared. Some people conduct formal “collaring ceremonies,” which are regarded as effectively solemnizing their relationship in a similar way as a marriage ceremony and the collar having similar significance as a wedding ring. The standard form of a collar is a black leather band around the neck, often with metal D-rings added to allow the attachment of a leash, rope or other restraints; but to be more discreet in public, some people may wear an ordinary choker or jewelry necklace for the same symbolic purpose.

Collars may be used in role-playing games involving erotic humiliation because they have connotations of control and pet-like status, especially when worn with a leash.

Christina’s Thoughts

This is an age old debate that will have different meanings for each and every party concerned. For me, it’s a symbol of ownership, and much like a wedding band, a symbol of commitment to each other. When someone goes to the trouble of selecting a collar for their submissive/slave, the relationship is not intended as a fly-by-night deal. This is a sign that the Dom wants the relationship to last and that he desired the honour of not only taking control of her, but taking care of her, too.

Collars can be practical with ‘D’ rings for suspension, leash and ropes. They can be for a certain use, such as a ‘posture collar.’ They can also be a symbol of love, and very discreet – looking more or less like a necklace, but with an inscription or padlock to denote ownership.

What are some of the things/feelings that are associated with wearing a collar?

May signal the move to a 24/7 relationship

Ownership

Giving up body, mind, heart, soul, privacy & decision-making to that of a dominant

Monogamy/formal commitment between the pair

Complete and utter control

Two lives have now been ‘bound’ together

A life of servitude (and hopefully pleasure!)

A slave is ‘off limits’ in a social situation to any other party.

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Collaring Terms courtesy of Wikipedia:

The practice of using three stages of collaring is informally followed by some in the BDSM community. Under this system, the collar of consideration is the first and roughly analogous to a pre-engagement ring. This collar could be removed at any time by the submissive with no ill will and the relationship thereby ended. The training collar is roughly analogous to an engagement ring and indicates a deepening relationship in which the submissive is being prepared by the dominant to serve to the standards the dominant wishes. Again, the submissive may ask to be released but the break is considered more serious and painful for both parties. Finally, the slave collar is analogous to a wedding band and at this point the submissive is considered a formal slave and owned by the dominant. Among some in the leather community this is considered permanent with no chance to end unless the submissive was released by the dominant for some exceptional reason. Simple failure of service is not adequate since that indicates a failure on the part of the dominant as well as the slave. As with engagement and wedding rings there are traditions with collars in regard to the materials and colors that are appropriate to each type, usually becoming more elaborate.

House collars are also used in clubs, homes and in organizations that provide social spaces to protect submissives. House collars show that the submissive is under the guidance of the house and is not to be approached. This is often used with inexperienced submissives who are not ready to make their own choices yet and need time to learn.

Velcro collar is an increasingly common term, used derisively. The old guard leather community was very protocol oriented and stressed serious lifestyle involvement because of safety issues. More recently, however, email, Internet chat rooms and instant messaging services allowed the curious to participate in casual (and often anonymous) D/s relationships online. The velcro reference indicates the tendency for online dominants and submissives to have new online collaring ceremonies frequently and without regard for existing relationships which end as easily as not logging in.

bdsmcollar

Looking for a collar? Want some inspiration? Check out my Pinterest BDSM Collar board:

https://www.pinterest.com/cpmandara1/bdsm-collars/

7 thoughts on “What Does Being #Collared Mean? #BDSM

  1. I know some submissives like to be collared by their dominant, but for me this is more for a master/slave relationship than for a dominant and submissive. Unless, of course, the collar is made of gold or silver and intended to be worn as a piece of jewelry, like a wedding ring, and isn’t meant for a leash. But then again, that’s just me.

    • Funnily enough, I view collars in much the same mode, though times have changed, so I hear 😉 But I can understand the donning of a ‘symbolic’ collar between submissive and Master – and it’s a lovely touch if both parties are devoted to each other 🙂

  2. We have a collar for my slave when we are in kinky environments otherwise we are happy with his ear piercings that we had done when we hit 7 years together. We had a party and a few dozen guest for our renewal ceremony at 15 years. A physical collar isn’t necessary but it can be nice or a useful signal in certain situations.

    • I completely agree. It’s whatever suits your relationship. I also agree that when in ‘kinky’ company – a collar can come in handy. Congratulations on being together for 15 years. That is love and devotion in my eyes and a beautiful thing! 🙂

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