#Submissives Live In A World of Fantasy #BDSM @naughtynell101

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Today’s Thoughts

The idea of submission is, more often than not, started in the land of fantasy. These fantasies may manifest themselves for many years before the person decides that they want to make them a reality and some people will never take that plunge.  This is perhaps because fantasies are perfect and the reality of trying to recreate them will never live up to expectations.

Reading naughty books, watching sexy films, all these things and more will help develop these creative imaginings into needs, desires and wants.The fantasies submissives have might be a simple or fetish or two, or they could be very detailed and precise, and often they go to extremes. When in the land of dreams, anything goes.

If/when the desire to turn those fantasies a reality comes into effect, this is when problems often occur. There are plenty of places to meet a like-minded partner on the net, but communication is critical to making those relationships work. It is a two edged sword. Your desires and those of your partner’s don’t need to match with exacting precision, but you do need to find a middle ground. Negotiation is the key to success. Find out what you both enjoy and see how you can implement those things in a scene.

Fear of revealing extreme and intimate fantasies can often pose a problem in the land of communication. Honesty is one thing, but baring your soul can be another. Relationships need trust as a base, which is why most Dom/mes will move slowly at the beginning of a pairing, taking time in getting to know their sub before attempting detailed or extreme scenes. Often a submissive won’t know whether their fantasies will feel good in reality, and that’s why safe words are important. It’s all very well to imagine being humiliated in public, and feeling aroused at the thought, but in real life that fantasy may turn sour very quickly, and that’s why it’s important to have a get-out-clause.

So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that communication is key and it’s always best to take things slowly at the beginning. Thoughts, anyone?

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