WIPITUP Wednesday – The Velvet Chair #cooking #bdsm

wipitupwednesday

As most of you know – The Velvet Chair is now in edits and will be with you soon. Watch this space! But here’s another taster – and this time it’s Jen entering domestic bliss with Matthews as her Master 😉

sexy blond in beige silk dress sitting on the black armchair

Drizzle two to three tablespoons of the egg net mixture back and forth across the pan to form a crisscross pattern. I had no idea what that meant and no time to worry about it. Dumping the contents of my bowl in the frying pan, I wiggled it about a bit and looked for my instruction sheet, which was now going up in flames as I’d left it too close to the cooker ring. Shit.

Throwing the flaming paper on the floor, I looked around helplessly for a fire extinguisher. When I found it, it was over the other side of the room and if I wanted a chance at making this omelette, I’d better come up with a better idea. Stamping at it in my stilettos proved ineffectual and nearly impossible, so I wrapped a tea towel around my ass and sat on it. Having studied fire safety at my very expensive prep school, I knew that smothering was one technique almost guaranteed to put it out, but I wouldn’t recommend doing it with your backside, though. Thankfully, I came away relatively unscathed. The same could not be said for my recipe. I was now missing the last two instructions. Oh well. What was next?

Cook for approximately thirty seconds and carefully turn over. As I read it, my nose was already wrinkling with the noxious smell of burning. It was my omelette, and it had now taken on a rather black and crusty texture. Grabbing a spatula quickly, I took it off the heat and scraped up the remains and flipped it about a bit. He’d never know. I popped another couple of eggs in there for good measure. Next.

Heat remaining peanut oil in a wok over high heat. Enough with the peanut oil, and what on earth was a wok? Wishing I had taken culinary classes instead of economics and finance, I found another frying pan and chucked in some more sesame oil. Add mince and fry for four minutes or until the mince has changed colour. Looking in the fridge provided no further clues to its whereabouts, so I checked the freezer. Result. I grabbed the packet and freed it from its jungle of packaging. There was one small problem. It was a solid block of ice. Chuck it in the frying pan and hope for the best? Yep.

Memo to me, water and hot oil do not mix. The frying pan began smoking and spitting and I set up a ten-metre exclusion zone around the oven.

Add hoisin sauce and garlic, and stir-fry for an additional two minutes. I wasn’t sure I could get close enough to the hob to add any more ingredients, but I was happy to throw them in from a distance, if I could find them.

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