Choosing The Perfect Safeword #BDSM

safeword

Original Article Written By Venus O’Hara writing for Marquis Magazine

Although I always recommend using a safeword in my writings about BDSM, I confess that I had never actually used one myself. That is to say, a word or phrase to stop the game. It is advisable to avoid words like ‘stop’ or ‘no’. The most common option is a traffic light system: ‘red’ (stop) and ‘yellow’ (approaching the limit). But, for my own private games, I had never found it necessary. The simple truth of the matter is that I much prefer BDSM with humor and without pain. So, I had never really played with ‘limits’ as such.

Well, that’s not entirely true. Once I had an online slave who had a safeword in a foreign language. He could barely pronounce it. It was ‘peligro, peligro,’ (danger, danger in Spanish). Eventually, he actually forgot it and it was never used. Nor was it ever necessary. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t made my subs suffer. It just means that their suffering wasn’t going to result in physical injury or mental trauma. Crossing or even getting close to mine or a sub’s boundaries just doesn’t turn me on.

My lack of a safeword use had to change recently when I participated in a tickling session. This was because, for a change, I was going to be in the role of the submissive and I definitely have limits where tickling is concerned. It was the very first thing my tickler discussed with me. He is Scandinavian, middle-aged and a highly experienced tickler. When I saw just how serious he was about following proper BDSM protocol, I was intrigued and extremely turned on. But I also knew this meant that I was truly going to suffer.

Of course, I wanted to be original. I did not want to use standard approaches to safewords that myself and many other BDSM gurus were recommending. After a good deal of hesitation, ‘be nice’ seemed to be the perfect safeword. It had just two syllables, it was easy to pronounce and it reinforced my preference for ‘don’t make me suffer too much.’

After putting my blindfold on, I lay face up on the bed. My naked body tensed up in anticipation of his tickles. The pause seemed endless and I had no idea of where he was in the room. The classical music playing in the background made the environment seem oddly civilized. I knew that doing something sordid in a refined setting just makes the activity seem even more perverse. Then, he began to tickle between my toes with his sharp fingernail.

Read the full article HERE.

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